As this column reported last February 14th, graphic novel writer/artist/toymaker/Neil Gaiman legal nemesis Todd McFarlane got the license to make figurines based on the Paramount/Warner Bros. movie Beowulf. Well, McFarlane Toys has officially unveiled the first four figurines in their Beowulf line and, to quote Eric Cartman, they look “schweeeet!”
The first toy depicts a young Beowulf, holding his sword and looking like he’s about to inflict some Severe Monster Ass Pounding . . . or he’s developing an explosive case of Montezuma’s Revenge. As with other McFarlane Toys, the details are what really sell this thing, from the veins on his arms to his grubby knees. Also check out the funky golden horn standing behind him. Like all of these toys, Young Beowulf will have a 6-inch scale and will come in the usual clamshell case.
Long-time Spawn fans know that McFarlane Toys specializes in gruesome and ghoulish monsters, and Grendel is another worthy addition to that legacy. Beowulf director Robert Zemeckis and McFarlane decided to go with the buffed-and-flayed zombie look for the legendary monster and I'm digging this like an old soul record. The exposed guts and clawed hands and feet really help sell this thing.
Just to give you an idea of what scale Grendel will be in the actual movie, McFarlane thoughtfully added a hapless Viking warrior to the diorama, perfectly aware that he’s about to suffer a painful and protracted demise.
Hard to say why Zemeckis and McFarlane decided to make Grendel’s Mother look like a cross between Jar-Jar Binks and a sea monkey. Wouldn't we all rather see something with a bit more . . . what’s that word . . . oh yeah, menace? The claws are a nice touch, as are the coins that make up the base. Check out the shield by her tail: a memento from the last hero that tried to take her down.
One also can’t escape the feeling that this toy will be filling a lot of clearance bins in a year’s time. Any fanboy willing to throw down their hard-earned cash on a Grendel’s Mother figurine would want it to look a lot more like the Divine Ms. Jolie. Agree? Disagree? Discuss?
Perhaps McFarlane is saving the more alluring version of Grendel’s Mother for a later date.
On the other hand, the Dragon definitely looks to be the business. No one would ever think this bad boy was all sweetness and light, but our reptilian friend doesn’t seem to be having a good time. Not sure who’s hanging on for dear life on the right hand side of the figurine: could that be Older Beowulf, preparing to carve himself some Dragon rump roast?
Start saving your scheckels, kids. McFarlane’s Beowulf toys will come out sometime in November, presumably just before the movie’s silver screen debut on the 16th of that month.
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